Am I Overstimulated or Just Overwhelmed?

“Why do I feel like I can’t do this anymore?”
“Maybe I’m not cut out for this.”
“I prayed so hard for this- am I regretting it?”
“I didn’t know I was going to feel like this.”

So many moms have said these exact things before. Myself included. And just so you know, you’re not the only one.

Before we go any further, let me say this: it’s okay. It’s okay to feel confused by the emotions you’re having and still know that they feel very real in those moments where you’re at the end of your rope. One minute you’re barely holding it together, and then your baby smiles at you and everything softens, and you wonder why you ever felt that way in the first place.

But those sneaky thoughts tend to come back… unless we slow down and actually name what’s happening.

Spoiler alert: you aren’t crazy.
You’re experiencing a massive transition.

Feeling overwhelmed or overstimulated does not mean you’re ungrateful, incapable, or a bad mom. Instead of judging the feeling, we need to start looking at it as information- data.

When you feel like you’re about to lose your cool, pause and ask:

• Where am I?

• Who’s around me?

• What’s happening in my body right now?

Not to blame yourself.
Not to decide what you can and can’t handle.
But to understand what’s contributing to the reaction.

And when we zoom out a bit, the bigger picture starts to make sense.

Studies back up what many moms already feel — a recent Skylight report found that 78% of mothers identify as the default parent, carrying the majority of the mental load at home. Research also shows that women continue to do significantly more childcare and housework than men, even when both parents work. And a Pew survey found that mothers are more likely than fathers to say parenting feels harder than they expected.

In other words- if it feels like a lot, that’s because… it is.

For most moms, this means you’re the one your baby looks for, calls for, wants comfort from, wants bedtime with, wants bath time with. The list goes on. And that constant responsibility adds up.

While writing this blog, I looked up the definition of overwhelm, and honestly… I felt personally attacked.

Overwhelm: to bury or drown beneath a huge mass; or to give too much of a thing to someone.

Tell me you’ve never felt more seen by a definition.

Overwhelm shows up when there are simply too many demands and too many things on your plate. Doctor’s appointments. Gymboree. Mommy-and-me classes. Feeding schedules. Nap schedules. Remembering what’s in the fridge. And yes — often subconsciously carrying your partner’s needs too.

And somewhere in all of that, you start wondering where you fit.

I’m not sharing this to complain or spiral together. I’m sharing it because you’re not alone in this feeling. When there’s too much to carry, the nervous system doesn’t interpret that as “busy”- it experiences it as pressure.

And then there’s overstimulation.

The definition of overstimulated is being stimulated physiologically or mentally to an excessive degree. That one sounds obvious, but when you really sit with it… you probably know exactly where it takes you.

It’s having a hundred tabs open in your brain. A hundred things to remember, plan, and show up for- all while your mini-me is eating the dog food and miss Rachel is saying “MAMAAAAA” for the 100th time.

Here’s the difference:

Overwhelm is about too much to carry.
Overstimulation is about too much to process.

It’s very common to experience both at the same time — and when they collide, that’s usually where irritability or anger sneaks in like, “heeeeyyy.”

Unfortunately, rest alone doesn’t fix either one. It’s like your bathtub is overflowing and you just close the bathroom door. It helps for a bit… until the water reaches the living room.

What Actually Helps

When you’re overstimulated

Overstimulation is sensory overload. Your nervous system can’t process multiple inputs at once, and it starts short-circuiting. Overstimulation usually needs subtraction, not coping.

Tool #1 — Reduce one sensory input

• Turn off background noise (TV, podcast, music)

• Dim the lights or step into a quieter room

• Reduce one sensory channel — not everything, just one

Even two minutes of quiet can help reset the system.

Tool #2 — Pause the urgency
Repeat silently or out loud:
“Nothing needs to be solved right now.”

Overstimulation escalates when the brain thinks action is required. This phrase gives your nervous system permission to pause without feeling like you’re failing.

When you’re overwhelmed

Overwhelm shows up when everything feels urgent and mentally heavy.

Tool #1 — Sort the weight
Ask yourself:
“What is mine to hold right now, and what is not?”

Gently sort into three buckets (mentally or on paper):

• Mine now (1–2 things only)

• Mine later

• Not mine at all

You’re not solving anything, just relocating weight.

Tool #2 — Stop the story
When overwhelm turns into thoughts like:

• “I can’t do this.”

• “I’m failing.”

• “This shouldn’t be this hard.”

Say to yourself:
“I’m feeling overwhelmed and that’s where the story stops.”

Then bring attention to:

• one concrete task

• one physical action (stand up, drink water, step outside)

• one next right step

Overwhelm grows when we stack meaning on top of difficulty. This interrupts the spiral without pretending things are easy.

If there’s nothing else you take from reading this, take this with you:
nothing is wrong with you. Seriously.

Having feelings doesn’t mean you’re failing or broken, it means you’re human, living inside a very full season. Most spirals don’t come from what we’re feeling, but from what we start making it mean.

So the next time you feel like you’re losing it, try reminding yourself:
we listen… and we don’t judge.
If it makes you giggle a little, even better.

None of us are mastering this overnight. We’re all actively becoming- as mothers, wives, daughters, friends. Change doesn’t happen in big dramatic moments. It usually starts when you do one small thing differently in a situation that normally feels familiar and hard.

You’re not failing.
You’re learning.

And God is with you in all of it. You don’t need the perfect words or a long explanation. A simple “Hey God, it’s me — I need you” is enough. He already knows your heart. He gets it.

These are the kinds of conversations I want to keep having inside my community - the honest ones. The ones where we cheer each other on, remind each other we aren’t alone, and ground ourselves back into God’s truth when things feel loud.

If this resonated, you’d probably fit right in.